Hi Noah! Your bit about the clouds is very creative. It makes the reader imagine you dawdling back to school. If I were you I would put loads more creative and imaginative stuff into the middle bit of your recount too! More vividly describe everything you see.....add more detail.
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Wow Noah I like your recount and I also like the picture you put at the end and its really cool that you used a lot of descriptive words. I remember the first time I went up Monument Hill it was awesome.